Good morning and compliments of the season. Today, we delve into @Abusgar mind.
I wish to die before my wife. What’s with the frown? Shouldn’t it logically be so considering my pre-existence of her? I’m talking about having her enjoy the fruit of her – even though ours – labour with twenty years added to the about sixty years I pray we spend together as man and wife. Add that to our ages at marriage and you’ll agree with iyawo Jay-Z about who runs the world. The available statistics of landladies is enough an evidence to show who lives longer. But I’m not about to discuss who gets what. I’m more particular about raising my family.
There’s a man living my dream of a father. He’s a friend, a brother, an uncle, a friend’s father, and indeed my father. I forgot to add he’s my counsellor and mentor. Have you read “Men Are from Mars, Women Are from Venus” by John Gray? I got it first from him. He’s a chartered accountant and author of “Marriage Preparation: Key Issues To Consider. In a time when child-rearing is considered by many to be the sole responsibility of the mother, this man has taught me how a man can easily compete with his wife to parent their children.
Parenting, I believe, isn’t a favour done to our spouse nor our kids, it is an obligation that must be fulfilled. A brother puts it succinctly here “We did not inherit the world from our parents; we borrowed it from our children. We should live in readiness to return the world in good condition, at least”. It is in the spirit of this readiness that I read books on relationship as though I’m preparing for ICAN and ACCA. Women don’t know what they want. They want everything. No apologies. I once attended a seminar where relationship was heavily discussed. The speaker recommended “The Muslim Marriage Guide” by Ruqaiyya Waris Maqsood. Of course I got and read the book. Smh for myself. I have suffered. From my readings, the best way to handle a woman is to be a mumu! That is my judgement from my engagement in some pre-marital preliminary relationships.
The mumu I plan to be is that father who’d be so responsible as to be described as obsessed with the success of his family. Kitchen work won’t be for my wife alone.(*you just yimu-ed,didn’t you?) I already know how to change diaper for our kids. There shall be time to assist with assignments. I shall nag when I have to.(yeske,I said nag.Atleast what sauce for the goose is sauce for the gander) Truth is, no matter what one reads from relationship books, no single solution is all encompassing of women’s peculiarities. Even with reading the same things and sharing same values, we have our individual differences. To each its own. And this is why she would also have to be patient with me. The realisation of our children’s full potential is our paramount objective.
So, no forming of yeye boss to my wife and kids. It’s one family; one nation. Charity begins at home. Those good things I’ve read are not beyond the wit of man; we’re going to live them. For the love of humanity, it is my reckoning that I must pay my dues without necessarily anticipating what I get in return from my people. It is in the light of this, that I’d like to, after living a fulfilled life, die before my wife. *cycles away slowly*