Day 5. Thought 5. Toluh’s.
So I got a message from Dapo telling me to write an article outstanding enough for y’all to read and ponder on and I got thinking…and thinking…and thinking…and THINKING…about how I was gonna climb down from my bed and get my writing materials (I’ve grown lazy lately. Heck, at times I wonder if I’m gonna go to heaven myself of if they’ll send someone to come pick me up). Plus, this chilly weather? Mehn, it’s given me an excuse to stay indoors all day, lying under the covers on my bed. And on those rare days I decide to go out, I wear thick sweaters and denims. This, however, as irrelevant as it seems, birthed this article.
On one of these chilly nights, a saturday precisely, I decided to talk myself out of bed and go to church, spend some quality time with my Creator. Know wah I mean? Yeaaah..you do. (Insert pix ‘img_22.jpg’)
So, after a long and successful talk with myself, I dressed in a shirt, a sweater and settled for a pair of denims and went to church. Hours later, I found myself sitting outside the auditorium amongst a multitude of late-comers like myself, under a canopy set outside for us. So much for “spending quality time with my Creator”
(Insert pix ‘ima_33.jpg’)
The sermon ended shortly after and the choir came up to sing a number. I got up and took a walk around the church’s car park. I had to take that walk- to avoid a black-eye. (The dude that sat next to me danced like he was in a boxing ring). (Insert pix ‘img_44.jpg’)
As I was walking around, I spotted a church member who I’ve known to be a devoted christian. You know…the kind that does not answer simple questions directly. Their answers just have to be backed up by a verse from the bible. So, if I’m like “Hello, brother. May I know your name?” He’ll be like “You see, my dear sister, everything in this world is vanity. We will all go back to our Heavenly Father the same way we came- with nothing. Except our deeds on earth that will determine whether we land in heaven or hell. Which is why the bible says in Proverbs 22 vs 1, “a good name is rather to be chosen than great riches”. However, you can call me Brother Titus”. And I’ll be like o_O
Back to the matter.
(Forgive me, I get carried away at times)
So I spotted him and waved. He waved back and hurried over. We exchanged pleasantries and talked about random stuff for a while. And then, he asked the question that prompted the hot discussion we had that night. He asked, “I hope the cold isn’t getting to you?”. I shrugged and replied casually, “Well, not really. Considering what I am wearing, I don’t feel like I’m in the cold”. That was when he looked at me head-to-toe and saw the denims I was wearing. He gasped like he saw a python crawling over my feet and pointed at my legs. He went like, “Sister, you wore that to church? Haba. You know what the bible says about women wearing male clothing. This is wrong. This is a sin”
I was confused for some seconds.(Insert pix ‘img_55.jpg’)
He went on, “My dear sister (I am not your sister, man. I don’t know you from anywhere!), you see what this world is turning into? Women now wear trousers even when the bible has clearly stated that a woman shouldn’t wear that which pertains to a man. It is a sin. If women do not repent from this, they will all go to hell because the devil has started using his demons to make trousers for women. So many of them have gone to hell because of little things like wearing trousers cos’ they can’t go to heaven in them”.
I immediately perceived he had (and prolly still has) a very shallow understanding of the scriptures and being that I had had enough of the criticisms against women wearing trousers, I decided to make a few things clear to him. This was the conversation that ensued:
ME: So, they not wearing trousers is God’s standard for making heaven?
BROTHER TITUS: Not really. But-
ME: Tell me, what exactly is God’s standards for making heaven?
BROTHER TITUS: We must be born again and we live righteously.
ME: So, if I’m born again, I’m still gonna go to hell for wearing trousers?
BROTHER TITUS: (He did the ‘gasping’ thingy again) Oh no! Well…I don’t know. Still, the bible forbids a woman from wearing male clothing.
ME: How do we tell a man’s cloth apart from a woman’s? Did the bible tell us how to differentiate them?
BROTHER TITUS: No. But we both know trousers were made for men only.
ME: By who?
BROTHER TITUS: I don’t know. How am I supposed to know that?
ME: How are you sure the person made trousers for men only when you don’t even know him?
BROTHER TITUS: I know because men were the first to wear trousers. Women started to wear them long after that.
ME: So, how does that mean trousers were made for men only?
BROTHER TITUS: Because they are men’s wears.
ME: Who termed trousers ‘men’s wears’?
BROTHER TITUS: The first person that made it for men.
I found this very hilarious but I managed to stifle the laughter that was threatening to burst outta my lungs.
ME: What if that person decided to make another type of trousers and term it ‘women wears’?
BROTHER TITUS: I don’t know about that.
ME: If the person made trousers for men and trousers for women, it no longer means a woman is sinning when she wears trousers, does it?
BROTHER TITUS: Look, trousers were made for men first. So it is men’s wear.
I looked at him for a while. This dude thinks he has all the answers. I pulled off my sweater and revealed the shirt I was wearing underneath the sweater.
ME: Do you notice anything sinful in what I am wearing?
BROTHER TITUS: No. Except the trousers.
ME: What about my shirt?
BROTHER TITUS: Your shirt is okay.
ME: I know my shirt is okay. But, how come you didn’t notice anything sinful there?
BROTHER TITUS: There is nothing sinful there.
ME: So, you think shirts are for women only?
BROTHER TITUS: They are for both men and women.
ME: Who started wearing shirts?
BROTHER TITUS: Men, I think.
ME: Shouldn’t that make it ‘men’s wear’ since men started wearing shirts first? How come my shirt doesn’t look sinful to you?
BROTHER TITUS: At least, it’s not as tight as your trousers.
Just then, a girl and a guy walked out of the church, both wearing t-shirts designed for the programme.
ME: Which of these two is committing a sin by wearing the t-shirt?
BROTHER TITUS: None of them.
ME: Why, aren’t t-shirts men’s wears?
BROTHER TITUS: I think they’re for both men and women.
ME: Really, if t-shirts can be for men and women, why can’t trousers be for both men and women too? We know trousers for women are different from trousers for men. But, why don’t you see anything wrong in that girl wearing a t-shirt or me wearing a shirt? Or does God allow women to wear some men’s clothing and not others? Why is it a sin for women to wear trousers but not shirts?
He went on to argue more but most of it is all a blur now.
Still, the major purpose of writing this is to fling a few truths in the faces of those ‘anti-trousers’. The attributes of a christian lady when it comes to dressing is decency, modesty and moderacy. Don’t just look at a woman’s dressing and decide her spiritual fate. You are not GOD. It is very surprising and rather ridiculous that people still cling to that belief that women shouldn’t wear trousers. Like…this is 2013. There are some certain health conditions, climatic conditions and personal issues that do not afford some women the nerve to be clad in skirts and blouses all their lives. If a woman is sincerely born-again, she will definitely enter the gates of heaven.
The above event may or may not have happened. Even I don’t now.Any resemblance to a real person is unintentional…ok,that’s a lie. Any resemblance is not given a hoot about.
Give this article whatever title you deem fit. I hand over that responsibility to you. My bed’s warmth is wasting away…it needs me.