Nigerian children are superheroes. We are. The things we go through, the pain. Don’t you wonder why yoruba mothers say “ti n ba wa igbaju kan fun e” which, transliterated, means “if I should look for AN igbaju for you”. Yes, I wrote “igbaju”, scientists and linguists, after seeing the act and after-effect of an igbaju, haven’t come up with an English substitute yet. The closest they have is bomb. I digress.
Now, I asked a question. You see the article “an” is a signifier of singularity. Meaning, that item being qualified by “an” has plural forms. As regards “igbaju”, this plurality is related to quantity and type.
Based on quantity, could be one but never more than two (one for each cheek; or when you get the forehand and backhand consecutively…*sigh*). Based on style:
1. Igbaju: this is the generic one. The most used type.
2. Igbaju oloyi: pronounced e-gba-ju oh-lo-yi. Only brought out on special occassions like when you break that chinaware plate that was passed down from your mom’s great-grandmother to her, or you wear your christmas clorth to goan play ball in the rain.
Then the koboko, or if you have kind parents like mine, the pankere(cane). Those tools of great manual reset capabilities. You know, it gets to a point, you see a koboko and you self-reset. Even when you are doing the right thing. Thinking back, when you were a secondary school student and you get caned, six lashes, you do the “dusting” and go all “ohrbii, it dinor pain me.” (That just triggered a memory. Had a classmate, nicca hated being beaten but was a talkative so was a regular on the “noisemakers” list. Now when the beating starts, nicca would take the first lash and run outta the class, come back, take another lash and run. So funny, those crying earlier forget their pain.) However, when you get home, you’re shivering before the first stroke lands.
Only a Nigerian child understands the result of “spare the rod and spoil the child”.
Let’s leave the beatings.
Bullies. Those shidren that are not happy so think you should be unhappy too. The ones that sing Ebenezer Obey for you when you don’t share your bicycle: “ma gbe keke e lo, a o ba e sere mo”. One set of young niccas tried that song on me, a very lol-ious moment. I didn’t plan sharing the bicycle before na. Mofos oshi. *mschew*.
Or when you are watching Power Rangers (watched that thing again and was wondering what I saw in it) and you are called to run an errand and you make the mistake of looking like you don’t want to go and then your mother gives you the side-eye.
*sigh* *insert your pains here*
We are superheroes.
Slainte.
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